Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
