I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Randomize
