Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
