everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
i out mim tonsoeep
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