It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
