I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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