No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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