I must be too annoying 4 u.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
