I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize