Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
