Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We were destined to go to rehab together
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
