Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize