What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
