I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
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Mom said you looked used
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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