your thong is hanging out like whoa
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
