Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
