so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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