so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
