The maid of honor just puked.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
