I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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