She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
