dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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