Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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