By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.