where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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