you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
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To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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