Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member