This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".