I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
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You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.