it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
lol hangovers are for mortals.