Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
