Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize