Can i not drive my cunt home
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
