I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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