thus making me awesome and them whores
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
