Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My pussy is not your playground.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize