Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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