my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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