I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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