ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
