Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize