just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
