Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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