So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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