You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
sex in a hospital.. check
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
