Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
