quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
