the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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