Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
