No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
