East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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