i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
