I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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