do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
