She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
