Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
