Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
