After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
