Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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