while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
A+ Viking dick
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
