We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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