I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I faked an abortion last night.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
