we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
