3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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