where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We don't watch enough power rangers
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
