this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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