If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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