I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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